A work place in not meant for conflicts with people. Neither should you start a conflict, nor should you indulge in one. And if you happen to observe one & it does not concern you, you should just ignore. Conflicts are an absolute waste of time and people who engage in it come across as losers.
I used to be the one indulging in conflicts because I’m very defensive.
Conflicts are not pretty.
It’ll leave you feeling pathetic about yourself more than the one who started it.
You need to understand three reasons why conflicts occur & you can easily avoid it for the sake of your good image & peace of mind.
People have different opinions. Period.
You can’t change the way some people are wired. It may not comply with the universe but your job is to work & not to change people.
Your job is also not to please people or provoke them.
If you are surrounded by people who are always negative about everything around them, and get jealous on small achievements of others then try & spend less time with them. If you’re anything like me, then you’ll have no tolerance for such shenanigans.
And if you have a lot of patience then you’re good.
Some Organizational changes affect everyone. Why do you have to react?
It annoys me when people complain about their organization like it’s the government.
If you’ve not received a good appraisal, so have thousand others. It is not always your manager or your HR saying, “I don’t like Shekhar’s performance this year, he will get 2% raise only.”
It is an organizational process that defines and puts people in the categories they need to be put in. I’m not saying there are no biases, of course, it exists. But it’s not always about you. A pay raise happens from top down. If the management decides to cut pays all will be affected, just like you’re affected when you get good bonuses. Do you question that?
It’s not always ideal to make a big deal about situations that affect everyone. Learn to deal with it like a smart adult & take it behind closed doors and face to face. Don’t crib and make a fool of yourself. You will never get anything resolved that way.
Have your own back!
I’ve learnt this the hardest way.
During crisis, even your closest work friends will have to take a decision against you. And you will have to respect that because being friendly & being professional are two different behaviors. Don’t mix it.
If it’s work, then remember to always document it, don’t lay back & delay projects that are assigned to you by your friends. Everyone has some pressures and goals to achieve, don’t bring your rapport in between.
Be thorough before speaking about anything to anyone, especially about your domain. If you’re an excellent salesmen, then make sure you never give a lose advice.
Craft your emails in a way that the other person can’t question you & take your word for it.
This is how you repel conflicts.